Obsessive Ex Syndrome: Attachment, Revenge, or Both
In reviewing individual cases, we have seen that the basis for the obsession generally lies in two categories: attachment or revenge.
In revenge cases, the Obsessive Ex wants the leaving partner to be punished or tormented. The Obsessor believes that the leaving partner deserves to be punished or harmed for perceived 'wrongs'. They don't love the ex-partner any more; the obsession has only to do with trying to wreak continuing damage to the ex-partner's life. They will even pursue avenues of revenge that harm their own children.
In basic attachment cases, the Obsessor wants their ex-partner back. They want to recover the love relationship and have everything go back to the way it was. In more complicated attachment cases, the Obsessor might know things can't go back to the way they were, but they still want some sort of connection retained -- control over the partner, physical possession of the partner, etc.
Occasionally an Obsessor wants their ex-partner back, still desires a re-established relationship with them, but also wants to see their ex-partner punished for perceived 'wrongs'.
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