Obsessive Ex Syndrome

Obsessive Ex Syndrome: Some people refuse to "let go" of their ex-partners.


The 6 Stages of Obsessive Ex Syndrome
Attachment or Revenge?
Cases Involving Children
Victims Tell Their Stories
Obsessors Speak
Why Obsessors Can't Accept a Break-Up
Violent Outcomes
Cases in the News
About This Site
Links, Resources & Help


Obsessive Ex Syndrome
Man drew up elaborate plans to abduct his ex-girlfriend - Timothy Joseph Pentaleri, "obsessive ex"

Judge denies protection order, man then killed by obsessive ex-wife

Man creates 35 websites about his ex

Obsessive ex-boyfriend hires cousin to kill woman

There are some people who are unable to mentally "let go" of a partner after a break-up.  At first it just seems like a difficult breakup. They keep calling, keep visiting, keep arguing and trying to reconcile.

Then they're following, stalking or threatening their ex-partner.

Then vandalizing belongings, or escalating to personal violence, or killing the partner's pets.

Left unaddressed, in extreme cases the syndrome may progress to the point that the ex kidnaps or kills their children, resorts to murder, or commits suicide.

It is important to recognize this syndrome in its early stages and take preventive steps. The longer the obsession persists without interruption or intervention, the more the obsessor will lose contact with reality.

The general media has not yet acknowledged this syndrome.  Obsessive Ex Syndrome is rampant.  It is difficult to estimate the magnitude of this problem because media reports break it up into little pieces, describing individual incidents only when they reach an extreme end, instead of acknowledging the overall picture.

Many reported cases of "husband murders wife" are actually Obsessive Ex Syndrome.  Reporters assume that if the two have the same last name, they're married.  Often it isn't until the 2nd or 3rd day that follow-up news reports are corrected to show that they were not "husband and wife", but were divorced or separated.

Obsessive Ex Syndrome is not gender-specific.  There are many ex-wives and ex-girlfriends who will not leave their ex-partners alone.  This site deals primarily with female victims, but we are compiling data on male victims for later expansion.

Obsessive Ex Syndrome must be identified in the early stages, and action be taken against its progression.  Doing nothing is not the answer.  Some articles claim that taking action is what drives an Obsessive Ex to worsening behavior.  Actually, the syndrome may continue and worsen in any individual case, but it is LESS LIKELY to worsen if early action is taken against progression of the behavior.








H.O.P.E. founder witnessed mother being murdered by obsessive ex ... Wife tries to leave marriage, obsessive ex Williams Billick kills children and self ... Obsessive ex Michael Angelo Hill kills 2 women, self ... Obsessive ex Augustin Garcia murders bride on wedding day ... Ajit Chordia, obsessive ex, shoots wife, self ... "Return all of your ex's belongings (including any gifts to you) in one shipment" ... School teacher strangled by obsessive ex Peter Hutchings ... Woman murdered by obsessive ex Mark Dyche ... We do not include these links to frighten people who are being stalked; our aim is to present data about the very-occasional worst scenarios, so that people will take ALL stages of obsessive ex syndrome more seriously.  Don't let anybody tell you to "not worry about it" if someone is stalking you!


An ex-husband, ex-boyfriend or others with Obsessive Ex Syndrome may resist a break-up with irrational behavior such as stalking their ex-partner, personal battery, revenge burglary, threats, resisting divorce, child custody disputes, child abuse, parental kidnapping of their children, animal abuse, killing a pet, (ex-)spousal murder, or murder-suicide.  Obsessive Ex Syndrome also may involve an ex-wife or ex-girlfriend.  This website is about Obsessive Ex Syndrome.