Links, Resources & Help
stalked? Keep Records
Legal Help / Pro Bono leads
If your state is not listed, check phone book listings for crisis centers
The Serial Bully
Gift From Within
For those with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Personality Disorder, Profile
of the Sociopathic personality
How Abusers stage a Return
Stay firm, do not waffle -- the break-up must be clear.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Narcissistic
of other Stalking resources
This group will email you some really helpful articles when you join.
Stalking Law - article
Google for pages about Obsessive Ex cases
ESIA End Stalking in
Angels in Blue site
Statistics from a survey (pdf file)
The Stepping Stone -
MSN Group supporting persons affected by violence or domestic abuse
Emerge Abuser education program - help
for abusers who want to change
Stalking and Stalkers
Coping With Various
Types of Stalkers - see "best coping strategy"
Help an Abuser? Thoughtful essay and responses
Excerpts: "[Donald B.] Saunders suggested 13 dimensions of abuser
psychology, clustered in three behavior patterns: Family Only, Emotionally
Volatile, and Generally Violent. Consider these disparities: one quarter of his
sample - those victimized in childhood - showed no signs of depression or anger!
At the other end of the spectrum, one of every six abusers was violent only in
the confines of the family and suffered from high levels of dysphoria and rage.
"Impulsive batterers abuse only their family members. Their favorite forms
of mistreatment are sexual and psychological. They are dysphoric, emotionally
labile, asocial, and, usually, substance abusers. Instrumental abusers are
violent both at home and outside it - but only when they want to get something
done. They are goal-oriented, avoid intimacy, and treat people as objects or
instruments of gratification."
Men Need Treatment within Men's Groups - fascinating article bizarrely
Brainwashing - does some of
this sound eerily similar to the relationship you escaped?
Calm Clinic - for those who suffer from anxiety disorders
Love and In Danger: a Teen's Guide to Breaking Free by Barrie Levy
Attachments by Dr. J. Reid Meloy
Psychology of Stalking by Dr. J. Reid Meloy
about Stalking protection and prevention
People: Recognize, Understand and Deal with People Who Try to Control You
Alert, Be Aware, Have a Plan: Personal Security by Neal Rawls, Sue Kovach
Know You Really Love Me: Stalking and Obsessive Love by Doreen Orion
Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy
Domestic Violence Sourcebook by Dawn Bradley Berry
Excerpts: "The vast majority of stalking crimes are committed
by former husbands or boyfriends against women who have left the
relationship. Stalking involves any pattern of behavior that serves no
legitimate purpose and is intended to harass, annoy, or terrorize the
victim. The stalker is obsessed with the victim, and can't cope with the
rejection and anger he feels when she leaves. The stalker often wants to
'take revenge' on the victim, who is blamed for causing these feelings."
"Up to 75 percent of those reporting [partner] abuse have left and are
being stalked, harassed, and assaulted by former husbands or boyfriends."
"Abusers sometimes fight for custody of children as another means of
controlling and antagonizing a woman who left them; or they abduct their
children ... One 1991 study found that more than 50 percent of child abductions
were the result of domestic violence. Not surprisingly, this type of power
play with a child as pawn causes the child tremendous anxiety and, in many
cases, prolonged emotional trauma."
People: How to Recognize, Understand, and Deal With People Who Try to Control
You by Patricia Evans
Is It Always About You? Saving Yourself from the Narcissicists in Your Life
by Sandy Hotchkiss
Books on Letting Go (if you are an obsessed ex):
to Heal a Broken Heart by Howard Bronson, Mike Riley
Go by Dr. Tracy Cabot, Zev Wanderer
Children First: a Guide for Parents Breaking Up by Hanna McDonough,
Links on Letting Go (if you are an obsessed
Go Of Your Anger for the Sake of your Children
Go of a Lost Love Interest
(the "skip ad" button is in upper right corner)
Let Go of a Bad
Learn to Let Go
Remember: "Love Conquers All" is an utterly false expression.
Even if you both still love each other, the fact that a breakup has occurred
means you were NOT meant to be together. (Break-ups that reconcile usually
break up again, and you don't want to go through the misery of this
break-up twice!) Love is not the only issue in a relationship. You
should be looking for a good love that is right for you -- not trying to
recover a love that wasn't right for you.
and husband, stalked by his ex-wife: "Stalked by Susan"
Marquerite, killed by